I think I have changed into an introvert.
Normally I’m the naturally out going, loud chick who is up for the impulsive adventure. I was the gal who would get things rolling for anything social, but since coming to Japan, that seems to have changed.
My apartment is my go to place. I literally Netflix and chill day in and day out. Not that that is a bad thing, I’m realizing that I am really able to just sit back and take it easy instead of having the continuous need to be busy.
Though there are many reasons a for this new more chill me, I still like adventure. There are days where the impulse of hopping on a train and going where ever it may lead me still is thrilling to my minds eye.
I don’t need to always be out and about but the face that I know that I could makes it okay to stay home. Long pj days of Netflix, coffee, and snuggles with my blankets have become just as comforting as a long hike up a mountain.
What has gotten me so inclined to stay home, I can’t say for sure. It could be that my mind is still in winter mode. It could be that the scattered rainy weather that keeps me tucked safly dry inside my apartment. Or it could really just be I want to go home and be lazy. Who really knows.
Somedays I will admit that it gets a little depressing and gray only to work, eat, and sleep. Add in a self inflicted scrimmage with myself; a tangled mess of confusion, disappointment, and worry. And the fact that I was bound to my desk with little to do for over a month, there was only little joy and happiness at that can be had.
But now I think I’m okay because I have been given joy in many different ways.
Students are again able to shower me with warm smiles and heartfelt giggles. I am now fortunate to have the great gift of having someone special to talk to and share my time with. The teachers I currently work with (all but few actually) are fantastic! The warm light of the spring sun has finally started to show itself!
Let me just say, SPRING!!!!!
I’m back in my element, the element of joy and happiness. The gray of winter has finally started to recede as it slowly fades away. Though some days are speckled with dissipointment, we must remember that everyday cannot be a grand ol’ time. There will be days riddled with up and down moments. Just remember that there is always a rainbow after a storm.
And that no one is ever truly alone. We just fight different battles.
Regardless of anything that is happy or sad, most days I want to run home to put on sweats, an old T-shirt, and watch something random on Netflix. Is that me battling the sadness with depression or is it the death of my socal life?
Let us just rack it up to it being my new life as an introvert.
Or perhaps I was always secretly this way?