I’m at a loss…

Nerves are still on edge.

Social media is doing what it does best. Facebook is a blaze with shared thoughts and acts of hate. Twitter has been a live news feed of everything wrong with the election but also with everything “right.” Instagram hasn`t been saved from these recent events either.

Currently my home country is is a state of chaos. People are trying to find the right in all of this. Most have been screaming out against how wrong it all has been. I am reading news reports of riots and protests as I sit here writing this.

There is a part of me that longs to march along side these people who are standing up for what they believe, but not they way they are doing it. No, not like this… They are using words filled with malice. Screaming out to the world “Fuck Trump.”

Yes… Donald John Trump has been elected as the 45th president of the United States. While he is not who I would like to take on the roll of leader to the country I currently have to claim as my own, all I could do was watch from the sidelines.

election-results-2016

Hell, my own state is still pending on who would get the 10 electoral votes Minnesota has to offer.

Yesterday I sat at my desk watching the numbers roll in. My fellow coworkers checking in, asking “who is in the lead?” or “Hillary still winning?” Everyone around me was rooting for something that could have hopefully been good. Something to keep the title of being a power to be recon with to the United States of America.

What happened America?

We tried to make like of what seemed to be a losing battle. I told teachers that “it looks like I need to find me a Japanese boyfriend soon.” Some told me that Japan is a great place to live and that they are happy I am here. Another teacher told me I will be rich when and if I ever go back to the states because the yen is stronger than the dollar. I joked that I am now claiming that I am Canadian. I also said I would be for sure staying in Japan for the next four years.

t-can

While we had been trying to make light of the situation most of us had been shell shocked and heart broken. I drank a whole bottle of wine alone in my apartment last night. Not to celebrate a possible good victory, but to feel something. The whole thing left me numb inside.

I am not alone here either. I reached out to other friends and family to talk about what we all watched happen. Everyone shared their thoughts on the subject. The best thing about it all is that No one shoved anything in anyone`s face. It was a sad, long night.

t-wak

Fellow ALTs from other countries reached out to us Americans. Like a sibling comforting a saddened family member, they held our hands as we tried to sort through the days events. They had watched the shit show that was the 2016 election just like the rest of us had, with a heavy heart.

I did try to stop it, I tried to do my part. I tried to apply for an absentee ballot, but had been denied that option. It left me feeling helpless overseas.

Today I am doing the same thing I did yesterday. I am watching my country from afar wondering if it will be okay. If everyone can get along after this. But I am seeing to many messages of hate. To many are fearing for their lives and the future. Four years is a long time, anything is possible.

So my dear America, can you comeback after this?

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